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Only I realize that, well. I actually really like you.

I think you're fun to talk to, interesting, and funny. And handsome, obviously.

I could see a friendship with you; and in my wildest dreams, maybe even more; I'd casuap to get to know you. If nothing else comes of this, that's okay, too.

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You said that this was your first time in NY. I was thinking about that alot and I am kicking myself right now.

Because, as we walked off the train together I saw you walking with slippers into the cold city. I wasn't thinking, I should have offered to take you to the store and buy you a nice pair of warm shoes, and a hot latte.

I wasted my life My rewards are relationships in which the other party feels helpless and a PhD in a field for which I have a highly violent and visceral distaste to be finished by March My career prospects are dim and really do not align with my personality, skills and ambitions. Truly awful companies such as Intel and Applied Materials, where former colleagues are incredibly depressed--even suicidal--are likely places to work.

Because I don't want to suffer in soul-crushing industries, and because a lot of my other well-researched options are very distasteful to me, I am thinking about starting over in a drastic way.